i started to deteriorate as well. the cancer started to spread. i was like a skeleton with skin, that was it. because i weighed about 80, 85 pounds. and i had these big open skin lesions, one here on my neck, one under my arm. i had tumors, some of them the size of lemons, all the way from through out my lymphatic system. >> do you remember one of your worse days, i mean physically, what that felt like? >> oh, towards the end, my worst days, i couldn't walk any more. my muscles, like in my legs, had completely deteriorated. but one day it was actually february 1st, 2006. i was just so tired of fighting to stay alive. i remember consciously thinking, that it's just not worth it anymore.